I walked with her through a garden of galaxies. I picked up a universe and put it in her hair. She was beautiful.
How is it that you’re the only thing in the world that can make me so fucking mad, when you’re supposed to be doing the exact opposite?
I’ve woken up in the middle of the night screaming everyday for the past week.
There’s a ringing in my ears. It’s been a while since I heard anything from close up. Someone told me that the ringing sound is the result of you brain trying to repair itself and failing, so there’s no wonder that it’s always there.
The bands were great, really enthusiastic, really unique sounds for a semi enthused crowd. there were roughly 50 or 60 people there. I’m not sure if that’s a good turnout for this kind of thing or not.
All throughout the show I was standing to the side, by myself, hands buried into my pockets, trying to focus on the beating of the drums rather than my own heart(I couldn’t tell which was faster, but mine was definitely less rhythmic) and at times and odd sensation came over me.
In those moments, I felt a strong urge to scan the crowds and connect with someone. In the romantic-drama sort of way, I was looking for someone, something, and half expected someone to be searching just frantically as me. But this was reality. No one was.
The worst part of that, the recumbentibus, was that for a second, I envisioned an ethereal version of my love peeking out from the some giggling crowd of females. She ran over, smiling, and threw her arms out to embrace me. I felt a tear form behind my eyes as I threw mine out to receive her, and she vanished.
I’ve been thinking a lot during these past few days. About myself, and her and us. I don’t know what to make of any of it though. I can’t understand why she stopped talking to me, or why we broke up in the first place, or why it’s seemed to have happened again right under our noses. And if you asked me, I couldn’t tell you how I knew it was over from such a vague sentence. But I did.
I wouldn’t say it’s killing me, but if I died right now, it would definitely be a contributing factor.
Somewhere in the distance
there is a sunset waiting
to be seen
by your eyes and mine.